u can’t spell boobytrap without partyboob
i literally dont talk to anyone unless they talk to me first
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck
she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
she’s tagged/perfect, i’m just tagged/cutie
1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home…
Does anyone else reply to a text mentally but not physically then forgets to actually reply all together or is that just me
I just invented a new word: